The Flying Granny

Hey Kids letting you know we be on the foggy road to Allentown,PA in 45 minutes. Granny has a take off time of 12:20 EDST. What she has packed. 2 pounds of sweet Lebanon baloney.
She wanted to take a frozen ham loaf also, but changed her mind. Which got me to thinking about the current airport security procedures. If they X-ray this bag I could see the following situation unfolding. TSA agent " Gilda" What-the-heck is that? Looking intently at the brick sized object on her monitor. Bob! Get over here an take a look at this. Bob the supervisor says." Man, that looks like C-4 explosives" Bob sends an alert message over the secure internet lines to all concern agencies. Dogs are called in to sniff the luggage. Dogs go berserk sniffing the odder of a HAM loaf. FBI (Washington, TSA (Washington) FAA, (
Washington) and all local law enforcement are alerted. In less than 2 minutes several hundred agents and armed guards begin to descend on Allentown Lehigh Valley International Airport (ABE). THE AIRPORT IS SHUT DOWN AND LOCKED DOWN as they compare bag tags to passenger manifest. In three more minutes the gruff handling TSA agents present this 99.8 year old lady in a wheelchair to the "interrogation room." At this point the United States Airways command center in Washington suspends all flights nationwide. A gate stop is placed on all aircraft. Airplanes in the air, are re-routed to alternate airports. NBC, CBS, FOX scramble their mobile news vans and crews. And so, begins a rather, strange day for the Flying Granny.

PS the Ham loaf is not in the bag.
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FLYING GOAT
33 YEARS BEHIND THE STICK STILL ALIVE!